Some of Hollywood’s biggest names, such as Mike Myers, Jodi Foster, Don Cheadle, Bob Fosse, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Kate Winslet have gone on record stating that, despite their success, they feel as though they are frauds. Experts call this The Impostor Syndrome and afflicts over 70% of the population.

The Impostor Syndrome is the underlying feeling that you are not as smart, skilled, or talented as people think you are. It’s a dread that people will find out you are faking it.

How do you know if you suffer from The Impostor Syndrome? In his book, The Impostor Syndrome: How to Replace Self-Doubt with Self-Confidence and Train Your Brain for Success, John Graden outlines some possible indicators:

1. Do you sometimes not speak up because you feel people will realize you’re not as smart as they think you are?

2. Do you find it hard to accept praise?

3. Is it difficult for you to take credit for your accomplishments?

4. Do you feel like a fake and fear you are going to be found out soon?

5. Are you a perfectionist who is terrified of making a mistake?

If any of these statements apply to you, you may suffer from The Impostor Syndrome. According to Graden, “This is the big, unspoken issue that holds so many people back. Every time I mention this to someone, the response is always, “Oh my God! That’s me! You mean there’s a name for it?”

Experts have different theories on what causes The Impostor Syndrome. Some say it’s psychologically based, while others feel it a cultural phenomenon. Graden says his interest is in helping people to overcome it, just as he did. Graden created the worlds’ largest professional association and trade journal for the martial arts industry, and is widely credited with bringing the industry from the back alley to the boardroom, all while battling The Impostor Syndrome.

Graden says. “I was watching TV many years ago, and I heard Paul Newman say, “I always have this feeling that someone is going to push through the crowd, grab my arm and say, ‘It’s over Newman.’ It’s all been a mistake…” I knew right away what he meant because I had the same feeling. It wasn’t until 20-years later, when I told that story at a seminar, someone told me that was The Impostor Syndrome.”

Have mistakes of the past ever stopped you from taking action in the present?  How often have regret and missed opportunities kept you from taking positive action for the future.  As someone once said:  living in the past is simply wasting today’s times cluttering up tomorrow’s opportunities with yesterday’s troubles.

Whatever has happened, has happened.  If an opportunity has been missed then it’s gone.  Endlessly dwelling on it will not bring it back again.  Constantly reliving the past leads only to inaction, to giving up and giving in.

Dr. Arthur Friedman calls this self-defeating behavior “Woulda Coulda Shoulda thinking”.  He’s helped thousands to replace suppressive anxiety over the past with a step-by-step positive action plan for today.  Dr. Friedman has developed this system for ending self-defeating patterns of behavior and developing a positive perspective on life.

Arthur Friedman is an associate Professor of Clinical Psychiatry at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey.  He is also clinical associate Professor of Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania.  He’s a seminar leader, international lecturer and is the author of several books on cognitive therapy.  On this INSIGHT program, Dr. Friedman explains how to turn immobilizing distress into decisive action.

Arthur Friedman:  Hello, I’m Dr. Arthur Friedman.   I want to talk with you about how to recognize “” thinking just in case it’s anchoring you to failure and unhappiness.  When you wish you were living out the life you always wanted to have and enjoy.  No one should have to endure a lifetime of “woulda coulda shoulda” thinking.  It’s something we learn and therefore in most cases, it’s something we can unlearn.  And it certainly is a good idea to look back and reflect on our past actions from time to time, to learn from our mistakes so we can do better next time.

But it’s possible to overdue a good thing, like taking too many vitamins.  Mere reflection on the past can turn into endless concentration until it becomes seemingly impossible to stop thinking about past mistakes.  The term for that kind of thinking is rumination.  Cows ruminate by chewing the same material over and over again.  They even bring back food they’ve swallowed to give it still another going over.  That’s great for cows but when people bring back events of the passed to mentally chew them over and over again, they do themselves a great deal of harm.

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Despite the gloom and doom headlines in the media about people losing jobs and the notion that we’re facing the worse economic crisis since the Great Depression, my job in this book is to help you realize that you are surrounded by opportunity.  In fact, there’s more opportunity in our world today than there ever has been and I’m going to show you how to capitalize on those opportunities.

The first step in learning to recognize and take advantage of opportunities is to snap yourself out of the hypnotic trance of society.  When a hypnotist takes someone into hypnosis, they use words and very specific scripts that are designed and proven to guide the subject into hypnosis.  Often it is a very deep level of hypnosis.  In hypnosis people are more receptive to suggestions because a hypnotist talks directly to the subconscious mind.  I say this because all of us have been hypnotized.  All of us spend part of our day in a hypnotic trance.

The induction for this hypnotic trance of society starts when we’re young, our formative years.  It’s through that period of time that the authority figures in our life begin to hypnotize us or program us.  And the programming that I’m talking about, the trance of society, is one you’ve heard over and over again which is to go to school, get good grades so you can go to a good college, get a degree and then secure a good job, so you can work for thirty years and work for someone else and then retire and move to Florida and make my traffic crowded.

The reality is that about three-quarters of all millionaires are small business owners. These are people who snap themselves out of that trance and create a life rather than make a living.  All the advantages of the land of opportunity, America, are for the small business owner.  The small business owner spends money and is able to deduct money.  The money that he spends is before taxes because he’s allowed to make deductions on behalf of his business.

This increases the buying power of every dollar.  The reverse of that is the plight of the employee.  The employee is only able to spend money after taxes.  All the taxes are taken from the employee’s paycheck prior to the employee receiving the check.

As an employee you have to generate a hundred dollars in order to get sixty-five dollars back after taxes.  However, a small business person, is able to spend that one hundred dollars for the full value of one hundred dollars before taxes.  That’s a huge advantage and that’s why, if you are able to create a small business for yourself, you must do it.

My job in this book is not just to help you create personal wealth but to help you to recognize, see and take advantage of the many opportunities that you’re surrounded with everyday despite the gloom and doom and the headlines about people losing their jobs  (CUTS OFF)

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